Whatever We imagine

Benedict Anderson in his book "Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism"said that "[Nations are] imagined because the membersof even the smallest nation will never know theirfellow members, meet them, or even hear of them, yetin the minds of each lives the image of theircommunion."..."It is imagined as a community, becauseregardless of the actual inequality and exploitationthat may prevail in each, the nation is alwaysconceived as a deep, horizontal comradeship."(Anderson, 1983)

Incidentally, Anderson used a number of Asian examplesto illustrate his point, specifically pertaining toRizal's Noli Me Tangere. For the full experience, he had sat in Ambeth Ocampo's history classes in UP.

While this idea has been in the back of my mind sinceI began here in Brussels, especially since it was oneof my first readings in class, I never witnessed itsfull representation until recently -- it all startedon one Friday in December. As I entered the new cafebar in campus, an unmistakably Pinoy cacophony ofvoices welcomed me, reminiscent of many a college caftambay time. After five minutes of shy glances andintermitent whispers of "Uy, Pinay yun, Pinay, Pinay!"-- I finally went over and said "Pinoy kayo? Pinoyako..." and with warm smiles and laughter, weexchanged numbers and it was the start of many atambay time with Pinoy MA/MS students of VrijeUniversiteit Brussel.

Part of our quirks are reminscing about our childhood(we are more or less of the same ages), sharing showbiz chismis, squealing at the sight of polvoron, singing loudly in uber quiet Belgian trains, amongother things. Apart from the sharing of meals ofsteaming rice, adobo, mechado, paksiw, sinigang or sessions of jamming and majhong in our respective dorms or apartments, I've joined these Filipinostudents in other adventures.

On Mardi Gras, or the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, we took the bus to Aalst, a Flemish town that hosts apopular and satirical Carnival. The town itselfreminded me of a medieval village, especially its towncenter. Though many Belgian towns resemble villages ofold, Aalst had a different air -- or maybe it's because of the many becostumed men and children. Thetown reeked of beer and whatnot (and some spots ofchonki/jutes), good thing it was cold so the smell was sort of lessened, because the Carnival celebrationshave been going on for the past 3 days. Carnival comes form the root "carnal" (of the body), and at this time people do their last bit of human extravagance beforethe Lenten Season begins. Though I doubt they still celebrate Carnival for this reason, it is quiteinteresting to note its beginnings. Another Filipino student told me that carnivals at Aalst are known tobe of the satirical kind where participants of the parade are dressed up to make fun of the Belgian monarchy and other powerful people in government. I didn't see that much of a representation as most ofthe men were dressed in old hag ladies looks completewith shopping carts, though a couple were dressed inpolice and train conductors suits.

Last Saturday, we joined the Filipino student community in Leuven in their monthly mass andsalu-salo at the University. I had a particularly gruelling week and the site of the familiar Filipino warmth in Leuven left a comforting feeling of belonging. I sang my heart out in Filipino mass songs,complete with a guitar accompaniment. It was a solemn and intimate mass, held in a salle (hall) with no more than 30 participants. I met a lot of students, wholike me just wanted to pursue a dream and eventually go back home (well, for the meantime) and who also felt the same unbelonginess in a foreign land, and longing for something as familiar as such a simplegathering. They were mostly Theology and Philosophy masters students, and priests as well. We never got a chance to tour Leuven, which was another quaint Flemish town, as we spent the afternoon at a humungous book fair. We left the town with our spirits filled and our stomachs full of yet another pot of potluck adobo, singing baduy love songs throughout the cobbledstoned streets at our Filipino heart's content.

I know it sounds quite mundane to you, but for us whoare feeling unbelonged in a foreign land, these sights, sounds and smells of home feed our spirit with more fuel to go on in our chosen path. I realize, in all my months here, that homesickness is not curable by home; but by making a home out of what is not. In our imaginings together, we ease the pain of unbelonging, of longing, of disappointment, of frustration by coming together and sharing this state. Sometimes the silence and the cold is too much or too little for the spirit. While we all want something different from home by choosing this adventure, wecan't help but miss it -- and the good thing is, we miss it together. While we learn new things and openourselves to a new world, we cannot UNlearn what we were. Even speaking in Tagalog is sheer pleasure (sometimes, speaking in straight English can be tiring and unexpressive. Like "makulit" and "basta"). And we are thus soothed by the strum of the guitar, the taste of crumbling polvoron in our mouths, the smell of steamed rice and bagoong, and the warmth of laughterthat we can never find unless in another Pinoy. We know that at the end of this journey, our experienceis uniquely Pinoy in Belgium, and only we can understand this sense of being "neither here nor there" and our grappling with it.

My dissertation has also led me to catch a glimpse ofFilipino migrant workers in Belgium through interviews. I've gone as far as going to a WinterGames Basketball Liga of 12 Filipino teams.... Though I recognize that our worlds are different, we sharethe same longing for home. My eyes are opened to their travails and what they have to do in order to livehere, and to make a living for so many lives that rely on them back home. It's not easy, I see that, but it's a choice they had to make (or sometimes are only leftwith.)

Allow this part reflective, part academic memoir of sorts -- these past "last months" in Belgium had led me into reflection, not to mention that my mindset has been turned into dissertation mode. I am counting mydays here, as I am homebound in a few months -- May to be exact! Time flies so fast! And at the end of this month, my family is coming for a much awaited visit --I am looking forward for them to see how my life hasbeen here and to travel with them for a few days toScandinavia. I can't wait!!!

My future Pinoy adventures include: singing in the English mass choir on Palm Sunday (we're excited tosing "I Will Sing Forever"); Visita Iglesia inBrussels (by tram and metro); Way of the Cross in Leuven on Good Friday; and more evenings of pita andbeer and Sunday afternoons of good food and company. I shall share more!

"Involving the traversal of sacred geography or the attainment of a heroic quest, the journey ofachievement has the character of a spiritualpilgrimage: the initiate undergoes a period ofliminality, of being neither here nor there, but at the end of what is essentially a ritual processemerges with a transformed self."
(Filomeno Aguilar,Introduction of "Filipinos in Global Migrations",2002)

Advanced Happy Easter to all!

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Past memoir posts:http://alexietravel.blogspot.com

A plus,
Alexie